Dealing with Sexual Violence

Debunking erroneous notions and confronting sexual violence

Most human beings with normal levels of compassion react to incidences of violence with nothing but empathy towards the victim and contempt for the perpetrator. But strangely enough, the nature of reactions differs when the violence has a sexual component. Some blame the victim, question what they were doing at a specific location and at a specific time. This is often followed with unsolicited advice or commandments on the importance of dressing ‘appropriately’, not consuming alcoholic beverages and not acting a ‘certain way’ i.e. try to not tempt the perpetrator. There is also the random objectification and comparisons that occurs such as the victim being compared to a box of chocolates left unattended that tempts the perptrator. Some blame culture, religion, patriarchy and attitudes of misogyny citing that the female gender has always been treated as poorly throughout ages and this violence is a byproduct of that. Some blame movies and the entertainment for objectification of women that has encourages people to commit acts of sexual violence. Some urge parents to teach their sons to ‘respect’ human beings of the female gender. Some blame it on sexual repression. Quite often euphemistic terms such as “perverts” “peeping toms” “abuse” “harassment” “molestation” and “eve teasing”.

Let’s try and debunk each of these notions

Victim Blaming: Let’s ignore the sexual aspect of the crime and focus on crime in general. Do we blame high end diamond jewelry shops for displaying their valuables at their store windows and tempting potential thieves? Do we blame the victims of a terrorist act for being at certain location or being of a certain nationality or race or religion because the terrorist claims them as the motives behind the attack? Do we blame a murder victim for tempting a serial killer by fitting category of human beings that he abhors? Why then do we blame the victim of sex crimes if for all other we only blame the perpetrators?
For the ravenous news media who cannot get the culprit on camera, the victim blamer is a great substitute villain. This villain can be used as a launch pad for another shout fest. People at home can feel that their apathy is better than the attitude of the victim blamer. For fellow victim blamers, they see a famous person doing it and think “Well I guess we are ok”.

The rule is rather simple, for all crimes, the burden of the criminal act lies solely on the perpetrator and nobody else. The blaming of the victim is actually legitimizing the abhorrent act and the depraved perspective of the perpetrator. Victim-blaming also cause the victim to feel marginalized and serves as a deterrent from report the crime. One less crime reported only means that the perpetrator is free to strike again and again.

Blaming it on Patriarchy and Culture for sexism: The biggest mistake to make is to conflate culture or patriarchy or misogyny with sexual violence. Having a repugnant attitude that women are inferior beings may be innate in people, perhaps some women hold this opinion. But acts of sexual violence, are not about attitudes, it is about an individual’s subjecting themselves on another individual without consent and deriving perverse pleasure from this forced interaction. You cannot teach a human to be empathetic to the plight of other human beings, it is usually innate. You do not need commandments to tell you that you will not hurt another human being or animal. Most self-respecting people won’t like to subject themselves to another human being without interest from the other side no matter what the interaction is. This is irrespective of background, culture, economics background and religion, it is just plain, simple and unadulterated human decency. The mentality of a perpetrator of sexual violence is no different than that of a murderer. It is unadulterated barbarism and nothing more.

Blaming it on entertainment: If movie were so impactful, the film Gandhi would have compelled all its viewers to renounced violence. Superhero films would have compelled viewers to help all those in peril. The fact remains that if a criminal claims to have been influenced by a film, it is because there was always a monster within and the material on screens just aroused the monster. If we start censoring the arts for the fear that somebody may be aroused to commit acts of violence, all we would be left with is a blank canvas.

Blaming it on Sexual Repression: Sex is supposed to be an act of pleasure. You give pleasure you take pleasure and you probably even create a life. If an individual is sexually frustrated or repressed there are several avenues for instant gratification. Most people fail to realize that acts of sexual violence such as rape are do not just involve sexual intercourse but often brutal battery to coerce victim into submission. This is about a monster seeking pleasure in the degradation and pain of another. This is not about sex it is about exerting power and subjecting humiliation.

Euphemism: The greatest disservice toward the victim is to use euphemistic terms for a crime. If we do not use “forcible recovery of items” for theft and “forcible dispatch of life” for murder. We must call it what it is, i.e. rape or sexual assault or sexual violence. Words such as ‘molestation’ and ‘abuse’ reduce the magnitude of the act.

How then do we deal with incidences of sex crimes that seem to be on the rise?

Enforcement of Tough Laws: While theoreticians may prescribe psychiatry to ‘heal’ perpetrators’ so they can rejoin society, it is too much of a risk for potential victims. The only way is to possibly deter crimes from happening enforce existing laws that dictate tough punishments for the guilty. It is important to have a fair hearing, but it is equally essential that the proceedings are swift. Where the perpetrator is never allowed to be free again.

Sensitivity for the Victim: Many a times during investigations, the victim is subjected to questions and examinations in that leads to discomfort and a feeling of humiliation. This can deter the other victims from coming forward. The good news is that there have been plenty of cases where the police and authorities have shown great sensitivity towards the victim. But it is important that the same be shown by the media and the public. It is this sensitivity that will empower the victim to not feel shame or guilt for being attacked and come forward.

Dealing with Victim blamers:  You cannot punish anybody for their views, hence the best way to deal with the victim blamers is to ignore their statements. Publicity is the oxygen that these low lives thrive on, ignoring their foolish notions is perhaps the only solution in addition. The moment they feel like a barking junk yard they probably will stop. Confronting them may also help but there is little hope that it will change their regressive mindset and once again they get the attention they want. 

Treating Mental Health: It is equally important that mental health is considered equally important to physical health and is regularly evaluated. All acts of sexual violence are related to always psychiatric disorders. Hence if this can be caught earlier, it may prevent the occurrence of incidences of violence and punishment for the perpetrators.

Self Defense Training for potential victims: Since it is impossible for law enforcement to be around every time a crime occurs, training ladies for self-defense may be a great idea. Here the potential victim must be taught how to disable potential perpetrators. Items such as pepper spray or pen knives may be part of the essential self defence kit.

Education: This also highlights the importance of sex education even for the very young. On many occasions the young victims of sexual crimes are unaware of their rights and what is and is not permissive. The perpetrators could be figures of authority and hence there may be hesitation to report these crimes. Parents, relative, authorities and teachers must come together to make victims of all ages feel empowered to educate potential victims about the nature of crimes and how they can protect themselves from crimes. This will also make the victim feel empowered to report a crime when it has occurred.

Define Sexual Violence: As abominable as it might be, passing lewd comments, telling dirty jokes or flirting or staring cannot be construed as sexual violence. All of these can be remedied by telling the individual to ‘stop’. Calling every word or act that is even remotely sexist as an act of sexual violence or expanding the definition of sexual violence just results in the wolf cry syndrome. Because if everything is sexual violence, nothing is sexual violence. While it is important for all of us to be sensitive, being oversensitive can only cause the real victims to be ignored. But it has to be simple, unless there is physical violence or the threat of physical violence is involved.

Stop False Accusations: As important as it is to punish the victim, it is important to protect the innocent. There have been plenty of cases where false rape cases have destroyed the reputation of individuals and ended their lives. It is very important that no matter how much things appear that the accused gets a fair trial. The media and the public need to be cautious not to hold a kangaroo court and pronounce guilt before the courts have done so

In the end, conducting discussions, holding forums and having studying the nature of sexual crimes may work as a theoretical exercise. Candle light marches and speeches may work as an exercise enlighten people. But the perpetrators here are monsters and only tough measure can work as a remedy and a deterrent.