Once upon a time, there was a boy who reared sheep for the people in his village during his
school summer vacations. On some days it was pleasant and he relished admiring
the scenic beauty of the hills. But on others he grew bored, there was little
to do but watch the sheep nibbling grass.
Hence, one day, with
an aim to amuse himself, he hastened to the top of the hill and bellowed “Help,
Help! Wolf! A wolf is eating the sheep”. The villagers instantly
rushed out of their houses and up the hill to help the boy. But much to their
dismay they found him in titters barely being able to control himself. The
villagers laughed it off as a puerile prank.
Weeks later, the boy
repeated the hoax about a wolf, once again the villagers bolted up the hill to
find the boy falling about with laughter at the prank he had played. This time
they scolded and warned him to never do it again. But it had little effect. The
prank was played over and over again much to the exasperation of the villagers.
Then one dark winter
evening, as the boy was preparing the sheep to take them home, a wolf came
prowling around the flock. The boy felt a cold sweat and his body began to shudder
with terror. He rushed to the top of the hill and mustered his loudest, “Help,
Wolf! Help me. I beg of you. Please”. But none of the villagers came, presuming
the obvious that it was a prank.
Most storytellers
have claimed that the boy was attacked and eventually consumed by the big bad
wolf. But in reality, the boy survived the ordeal by fleeing from the scene and
climbing up a tree.
Soon the boy’s family
moved to the big city and became an avid consumer of cable TV news. Morning Joe
for breakfast, Anderson Cooper for lunch and finally lashing of Rachel Maddow,
Joy Reid, and Don Lemon for dinner. He earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in
Gender Studies and later a Master of Arts degree in Race studies. This inspired
the boy and he ran for political office and was elected to Congress.
On some days Capitol
Hill was pleasant and he relished admiring the architecture, the pretty
interns, and the food at the fancy restaurants. But on others he grew bored,
there was little to do but read heaps policy documents.
One day with an aim
to amuse himself, he hastened to the top of the hill and bellowed “Racist!
Racist! Racist” attacking a local bookseller for having a copy of the American Confederate General Robert Edward Lee.
The news media
instantly rushed out of their houses and up the hill to learn more about the
racist purveyor of the book shop. The boy found himself on every cable news
show, the very shows he had watched all his life. Irate viewers sent emails to
the channel for covering a non-issue. But the boy had a few supporters who took
to social media and has his name trending on every platform.
Weeks later he was
bored again, he hastened to the top of the hill and bellowed “Sexist!
Misogynist! Patriarchy” this time attacking a newspaper for an article critical
of Hillary Clinton.
The news media once
again rushed up the hill to learn more about the sexist news article. He was
once again on every news channel and on trending on social media too. Once
again, a majority of viewers despised his attention-seeking stunt but his few
supporters ensured that his name trend on social media
In the subsequent
months, he pulled similar stunts. On some occasions it was ‘homophobe’ on
others it was ‘transphobe’, then he returned to ‘racist’, ‘xenophobe’, and ‘sexist’,
the cycle continued. He realized that he didn’t have to waste time reading
lengthy boring policy documents when he could be on every news channel
attacking ‘bigots’ and blaming Republicans for all that was wrong.
The following year he
was a special guest at the Emmys with everybody in Hollywood wanting to shake
his hand. Soon he was presenting Best Foreign Film at the Oscars. He denounced
Hollywood for using the word ‘foreign’ that he thought was xenophobic. There
were huge applauses and a celebrated actress gave him a standing ovation as
tears flowed down her botoxed cheeks.
He was offered a
lucrative docuseries deal by one of the producers at the ceremony and soon a
book deal was also signed.
But despite all this
fanfare and success, something bothered the boy. He was deeply disturbed by the
myriad skeptics who claimed that he was making mountains out of non-issues for
publicity, instead of focusing on helping people. Also, the racist book-seller
was still in business despite his myriad attempts to shut down that business
and the columnist who was critical of Mrs. Clinton still retained her job,
despite his attempts to have her sacked.
These people
resisting his claims reminded him of the deeply bigoted villagers who scolded
him for shouting ‘Wolf’ when he was a child tending to sheep. He realized that
their hatred for him was owing to the fact that although he appeared Caucasian,
his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmother was black. He
had learned this following an appearance on a popular Genealogy show.
It caused him deep
post-traumatic stress and he decided to take help. He spoke to the media about
his issues and was lauded and applauded for it. Soon there was another book
deal and docuseries deal about the importance of mental health.
But he wanted to
affect real change and end all skepticism relating to his assertions. His
approval rating among his constituents had plummeted. He soon understood that
it was bigotry among voters that had made his re-election an impossibility.
Then one day a social
media founder was visiting Capitol Hill for a hearing. After being subjected to
a severe grilling the social media founder approached the boy and offered him a
lucrative job as a lobbyist and public relations officer in his role as Vice-President,
Global Affairs and Communications. The boy gleefully accepted the position.
His new role allowed
him the ability to bring real change that he had always dreamed of. He could
censor and eventually ban all those skeptical of his claims. He managed to even
ban elected officials globally. He could suppress articles that he disapproved
of. He could affect search engine results for bigots.
He was reminded that
the reasonable man adapts himself to the world while the unreasonable one
persists in trying to adapt the world to himself and hence all progress
depended on the unreasonable man. He understood Shaw completely and the responsibility that rested upon his shoulders.
In time, the world,
to him was seeming like a better place and gradually he stopped getting those
scary nightmares of the villagers ascending the hill and disagreeing with his
claim about the Wolf. He had managed a seemingly impossible feat of bringing
about consensus and an end to bigotry.
He discovered that
which had eluded him for years, despite his enormous fame, wealth, and success,
total ineffable peace. He lived happily ever after and is even contemplating
running for President after being urged by his supporters on his social media
platform.
Comments
Post a Comment