Bruce Willis's dementia diagnosis is a timely reminder of the fragility of life

Very recently Hollywood superstar Bruce Willis’s family announced that he has been diagnosed with frontotemporal dementia.

Willis was diagnosed with aphasia last year, which compelled him to retire from acting, as it affects verbal and cognitive abilities.

That condition has clearly worsened.

The family released another statement later hoping that media attention would raise awareness of the actor's condition.

"Bruce always believed in using his voice in the world to help others and to raise awareness about important issues both publicly and privately.

"We know in our hearts that - if he could today - he would want to respond by bringing global attention and a connectedness with those who are also dealing with this debilitating disease and how it impacts so many individuals and their families."

Now for a bit about the condition.

Frontotemporal dementia is a rare type of dementia that causes problems with behavior and language. It affects the frontal and temporal lobes of the brain and usually afflicts people aged 45-65. Like other forms of dementia, it develops slowly.

Symptoms include slow or stiff movements,  impulsive behavior, deterioration of linguistic skills, getting distracted easily, and difficulty in tasks that involve planning and organizing. As this dementia worsens there could be a loss of bladder or bowel control and muscle weakness.

Willis became a global superstar owing to megahits such as the Die Hard series, The Sixth Sense, Armageddon, Pulp Fiction, and several others.

He was nominated for five Golden Globes - winning one for Moonlighting - and also three Emmys, where he won two.

This is very sad news for Willis’s family and for his fans.

But even in the worst of news, there are valuable lessons to be learned.

Firstly about the fragility of life.

We often think of the loss of human life when the physical being ceases to exist.

But the mind and cognitive abilities are as important as the physical aspect of the human body, perhaps even more. A person can function with physical disabilities but disabilities that affect the brain can make it impossible to function normally.

When a human being is diagnosed with dementia it is inevitably a sign that while the physical being will remain the personality that caused the distinctiveness in that individual will soon depart.

The person may have had habits, some endearing and some annoying. The person may have had a temper or a sense of humor or warmth or discipline. Perhaps the individual was kind and generous or an occasional attention seeker.

All that will gradually fade away

Then there is the loss of memory.

Human beings are mostly they are due to memories.

We live and learn from experience.

You could be pessimistic, optimistic, realistic, angry, ebullient, or meanspirited based on your memories of life experiences since childhood.

Those memories shape our minds and are key to the development of our outlook toward life.

We have a delectable meal with some fine wine, read a compelling book, admire a beauteous painting, and watch a masterful film, we attend events or parties with loved ones. When the experiences are over, they rest in some dark corner of your brain as memories.

The existential purpose is usually based on memories. 

You strive to support your family. You plan a surprise birthday party or gift someone what they have been looking forward to. You follow a regimen of diet and exercise. 

Our affection towards others is usually based on their personality. The physical aspect does matters, but it is the personality of the individuals that cause us to either gravitate toward them or be repelled by them.

But when all the memories and the habits begin to fade away, so does the personality.

This is no different from cancer which affects the physical being of a person.

I recently lost a relative to cancer.

He was 70 years of age, he was ebullient, funny, and young at heart. He was skilled and quite an expert with automobiles, plumbing, electrical appliances, carpenter, gardening, and much more. He spread positivity among his loved ones and friends.

A short while back he developed a backache and in weeks it worsened. His blood tests and other tests were normal. So the doctors reminded a body scan where he was diagnosed with advanced-stage cancer i.e. his vital organs were affected. His condition worsen rapidly and in slightly over a month he was gone.

Today the house that he build stands and so does everything within the house that he either built or bought after careful consideration. But he is gone.

It still seems surreal that a man so full of energy would just cease to exist. Each time I visit his home I expect to see him sitting there welcoming me with a smile. But that will never ever happen again.

There are important lessons to be learned from these situations where either the mind or the body is irrevocably affected.

We learn what we probably always knew but often ignore that nothing in life including life itself is permanent.

Hence we must live with the knowledge that our life and the lives of those who matter to us can change irrevocably at any moment.

The solution to this is to live for now as much as you live for the future.

It doesn’t mean you don’t plan for the future or empty your bank accounts to indulge in merry-making. But you certainly don’t defer what you think is important for yourself or for your loved one. You don’t think ‘I’ll do it later’.

You do not restrain yourself while expressing affection, gratitude, and love toward those who matter.

You do not hold on to grudges towards people for too long. You evaluate people, not for their momentary lapse of judgment where they may err and cause you pain or upset you, you instead look at what they mean to you in the long term. 

If you have fallen out with a good friend who once mattered but you can see the possibility of reconciliation, you try to resolve the difference.

You do not allow trivial setbacks such as not finding a table at a restaurant on a Sunday evening, to upset you for long. You do not waste time being angry or bitter over issues that do not matter. You try to distract yourself and you move on from matters that have caused pain but remain unsolvable.

You dedicate time to your loved ones and ensure that you spend quality together and laugh together. You also do not waste your time trying to win over those who do not deserve it.

For all of the above, you act immediately and banish the instinct to postpone.

It doesn’t mean you live in perpetual fear of death a comedic Woody Allen character but instead, you value your life and your time on earth as if it was the most precious diamond known to mankind.

All of this is easier said than done, but a small change can be the sole step that begins a long journey.

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